End of year gift guide

At the end of the year it is traditional to gift and be gifted upon. However choosing the choicest of gifts isn’t easy. I’ve complied a list of ideas to inspire you with inspiration for this difficult task.

Pasta

There are lots of ways to give pasta. You don’t have to spray paint it gold, though that is traditional. If it’s very expensive pasta, you can just place the packet in a shoebox beside a jar of something and call it a hamper. The receiver can choose for themselves whether to cook the pasta or turn it into a photo frame.

Socks

Socks can be given for wearing, or with the addition of googly eyes, as pets. Remember though, a sock-puppet is for life, not just for Christmas. Ever January op-shops are sadly heaving with abandoned sock-puppets, many of which can’t be rehomed and will be shot.

Mugs

No-one can have too many mugs, as mug populations self-regulate. Once a cupboard reaches a post-optimal number of mugs, items will tumble out by accident, smash and restore the cupboard-mug balance. It’s Gaia for crockery.

Kitchen gadgets

These days there is an implement for every fruit and a thingy-whacker for every vegetable. This is right and proper but never-the-less some people persist with using the same zester for lemons and oranges (YUCK). End of year gifting is the perfect opportunity to rectify the parlous state of your relative’s kitchen drawers. Basic ideas include a mushroom brush, kiwi fruit plunger, or apricot halvermeister.

Books

With thought and care the perfect book, bringing joy and enlightenment, can be found for any person. Or, with malicious intent you can really make a point. It’s up to you.