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I Quit Soil!

  Brindy Quokka’s latest book I Quit Soil has made waves in the food community by advocating a diet free of soils, dirt and wax. I decided to try it myself under the guidance of Brindy herself. Brindy takes me to her favourite soil-free café. She orders for both of us and I’m happy to have… Read Post »

If the Baby-Sitters Club played netball

How did I only just think of this? Let’s not waste anymore time. Kristy Obviously, Kristy plays Centre. During a close semi-final Kristy deliberately steps into the opposition goal circle to draw a free pass and prevent a shot at goal. Her plan works but her guilt at her own un-sportspersonlike behaviour takes a whole… Read Post »

54 762631

Today I found out that my dad got rid of the land-line at his house. It’s the house I grew up in, and the phone number I grew up with too. 54 762631 I have a lot of feelings and stories. When we first got the number, it was shorter – six digits was all that… Read Post »

Four things not to say to new parents

I’ve written before about what not to do when visiting new parents. But sometimes saying things is a kind of doing too. So, here’s what not to say to a new parent. 1. What’s that smell? I don’t know. Pick an orifice, they’ve all got problems. Surveys show that 90% of new parents, like me,… Read Post »

FAQs – Netball Bib Bags

I’ve become tired of answering the same questions about my netball bib bags (sold through the Etsy shop If You Need). I’ve prepared this list of answers to Frequently Asked Questions. I have hands and arms. Why should I use a bag to carry things? Bags can greatly assist in the ease and efficiency of… Read Post »

Your future in 2018 according to Netballstrology

Your netball position is highly predictive of your future. I’ve spent many hours meditating on an orange (very painful and sticky) in order to divine these uncannily accurate netballstrology readings. Read on to find out what 2018 has in store for you. Note: The bags pictured are available at www.ifyouneed.etsy.com With Mercury peeling the orange… Read Post »

Bags

I’ve started turning netball bibs into bags and selling them on Etsy. Customer research suggests that the main factor limiting sales is that people don’t think they need a bag, believing it is better to move things using their hands alone. In fact, bags are a practical way to carry a wide range of items. Once… Read Post »

Radio Bacon

Three weeks ago ABC Central Victoria recorded me reading some short snippets about my time working in a bacon factory. In my first piece I explain that I learned a lot about bacon. I also experienced sexual harassment for the first time! What a milestone in a young lady’s life. It was a difficult couple… Read Post »

P is for Phonetic: An English Spelling is Phucked Alfabet

I’m not one of the world’s great spellers. I blame English. Below I’ve expressed my frustration (with some swears apologies). If illustrated this could be a lovely baby board book or frieze for a child’s room. Aa A is for Art. Apparently. Not R, because that would be easy. Rseholes. Bb There are two Bs… Read Post »

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