I used to think miscarriages were always quick and dramatic. A rush of blood and severe pain, emergency treatment and then probably grief.
I didn’t know that sometimes miscarriages take awhile and there can be a period of uncertainty. Some symptoms of miscarriage are also the symptoms of normal early pregnancy. And sometimes an ultrasound looks bad, but perhaps the pregnancy is at an earlier stage than estimated. It may be necessary to repeat the scan in a week to make sure. In that time the person may continue to feel pregnant and have symptoms like nausea.
I had a miscarriage in September 2020 during Melbourne’s second-wave lockdown. In the 12 days between suspecting a problem, and the pregnancy completely ending I Googled a lot. I looked for medical information and other people’s miscarriage stories. I learned new medical terms and discovered highly improbable theories that gave false hope. I searched symptoms one minute, then things to entertain my children at home the next.
Over the 12 days I made 396 Google searches and 192 were about miscarriage.
This search history reveals more about what I was actually thinking, feeling, hoping and doing than the diary I also kept at the time. People often don’t talk about miscarriage, and you’re supposed to be embarrassed of your search history, but here’s a representative sample of mine.
12 – 23 September 2020.
8 weeks pregnant brown discharge
are any gp clinics open in melbourne lockdown
lower back ache 8 weeks pregnant
hcg doubling time calculator
what do hippos eat
what’s the most dangerous animal on earth?
hcg levels 8 weeks
Baby measuring 2 weeks behind at 8 weeks no heartbeat
No heartbeat at 8 weeks but still feel pregnant
hcg 6 weeks 3 days 50000
No heartbeat at 8 weeks success stories
4mm at 8 week scan
can pregnancies catch up
can an embryo stop growing and start again
two miscarriages in a row age 39
rmit assignment extension school of business
“penny tangey” “as fast as I can”
hcg 50000 no heartbeat 8 weeks
can you have embryos of different ages in pregnancy
can you miscarry one embryo and immediately implant another?
can embryo development pause in humans?
could your dates still be wrong if you had an early positive test?
two successful pregnancies followed by two miscarriages
can you have twin embryos that are different ages?
can an embryo have slow growth and then catch up? 8 weeks
no heartbeat at 8 weeks 4mm fetal pole
ultrasound margin of error
Can HCG levels drop then go back up
how long to miscarry after baby stops growing?
how to decide not to try again after miscarriage
miscarriage diagnosed pregnancy symptoms worse
hard to believe i have miscarried because still have symptoms
vanishing twin syndrome but only dead twin seen on ultrasound
hidden twin transvaginal ultrasound
making paint with cornflour
breast tenderness increased but expecting miscarriage
ruth bader ginsburg dissent collar
jewish new year 2020
bad morning sickness but still had miscarriage
waiting to miscarry how long?
ethical puppies Melbourne
best dogs for small children
second miscarriage 39 years old
two live births followed by two miscarriages just bad luck?
recurrent miscarriage 39 years old
how long does morning sickness last after d&c
rhesus antibodies cause miscarriage
misoprostol side effects
genetic testing not offered after miscarriage
Karyotyping after miscarriage