12 Days of Miscarriage

I used to think miscarriages were always quick and dramatic. A rush of blood and severe pain, emergency treatment and then probably grief.

I didn’t know that sometimes miscarriages take awhile and there can be a period of uncertainty. Some symptoms of miscarriage are also the symptoms of normal early pregnancy. And sometimes an ultrasound looks bad, but perhaps the pregnancy is at an earlier stage than estimated. It may be necessary to repeat the scan in a week to make sure. In that time the person may continue to feel pregnant and have symptoms like nausea.

I had a miscarriage in September 2020 during Melbourne’s second-wave lockdown. In the 12 days between suspecting a problem, and the pregnancy completely ending I Googled a lot. I looked for medical information and other people’s miscarriage stories. I learned new medical terms and discovered highly improbable theories that gave false hope. I searched symptoms one minute, then things to entertain my children at home the next.

Over the 12 days I made 396 Google searches and 192 were about miscarriage.

This search history reveals more about what I was actually thinking, feeling, hoping and doing than the diary I also kept at the time. People often don’t talk about miscarriage, and you’re supposed to be embarrassed of your search history, but here’s a representative sample of mine.

12 – 23 September 2020.

Searched for:

8 weeks pregnant brown discharge

are any gp clinics open in melbourne lockdown

5km radius

lower back ache 8 weeks pregnant

Wume ultrasound

hcg doubling time calculator

what do hippos eat

what’s the most dangerous animal on earth?

hcg levels 8 weeks

Baby measuring 2 weeks behind at 8 weeks no heartbeat

No heartbeat at 8 weeks but still feel pregnant

hcg 6 weeks 3 days 50000

No heartbeat at 8 weeks success stories

4mm at 8 week scan

can pregnancies catch up

can an embryo stop growing and start again

two miscarriages in a row age 39

rmit assignment extension school of business

“penny tangey” “as fast as I can”

hcg 50000 no heartbeat 8 weeks

can you have embryos of different ages in pregnancy

can you miscarry one embryo and immediately implant another?

can embryo development pause in humans?

could your dates still be wrong if you had an early positive test?

two successful pregnancies followed by two miscarriages

can you have twin embryos that are different ages?

can an embryo have slow growth and then catch up? 8 weeks

no heartbeat at 8 weeks 4mm fetal pole

ultrasound margin of error

Can HCG levels drop then go back up

how long to miscarry after baby stops growing?

how to decide not to try again after miscarriage

miscarriage diagnosed pregnancy symptoms worse

hard to believe i have miscarried because still have symptoms

vanishing twin syndrome but only dead twin seen on ultrasound

hidden twin transvaginal ultrasound

mermaids real

making paint with cornflour

breast tenderness increased but expecting miscarriage

misdiagnosed miscarriage

ruth bader ginsburg dissent collar

jewish new year 2020

bad morning sickness but still had miscarriage

waiting to miscarry how long?

ethical puppies Melbourne

best dogs for small children

second miscarriage 39 years old

two live births followed by two miscarriages just bad luck?

recurrent miscarriage 39 years old

how long does morning sickness last after d&c

rhesus antibodies cause miscarriage

melbourne curfew

misoprostol side effects

genetic testing not offered after miscarriage

Karyotyping after miscarriage


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