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FAQs – Netball Bib Bags

Saturday December 30th, 2017 in Craft, Sport | No Comments »

Three netball bib bags. Two black in back and one green Wing Attack bag at front

I’ve become tired of answering the same questions about my netball bib bags (sold through the Etsy shop If You Need). I’ve prepared this list of answers to Frequently Asked Questions.

I have hands and arms. Why should I use a bag to carry things?

Bags can greatly assist in the ease and efficiency of transporting a range of items. I’ve written more fully on the topic here. Although it can feel strange at first, most people who start using bags say they wish they had done so earlier.

Were any netballers harmed in the production of your bags?

If You Need is a certified netballer friendly organisation. Our netball bib bags are made from 100% genuine netball bibs. All netball players are safely and ethically removed before processing begins.

Are netball bib bags reversible?

Yes. Netball bib bags are lined and can be reversed by turning them inside out. Reversing the bag will hide the bib’s position, so this is the suggested styling for Wing Defence bags.

Can I carry a netball bib bag with a position I don’t play?

There’s no law against it, it’s a matter of conscience.

How many netball bib bags should I own?

One hundred is too many, zero is too few. While there are no hard and fast rules to work this out I’ve found that your age divided by three plus seven is generally ample.

Do you make anything else out of netball bibs?

This is an area of current research and development. Plans for future development using netball bibs include a perpetual motion machine and gold.

Your future in 2018 according to Netballstrology

Tuesday December 26th, 2017 in Craft, Sport | No Comments »

Astrology chart overwritten with netball positions and with an orange in the centre.

Your netball position is highly predictive of your future. I’ve spent many hours meditating on an orange (very painful and sticky) in order to divine these uncannily accurate netballstrology readings. Read on to find out what 2018 has in store for you.

Note: The bags pictured are available at www.ifyouneed.etsy.com

Green Goal Shooter netball bib bagGoal Shooter

With Mercury peeling the orange in 2018, this should be a great year for Shooters.

Career

You are a person who can take the long-view. That is because you are tall. If not, you might want to reconsider your position in 2018. If you decide to stay in your current role, you should try to get a window seat at your workplace. You might have a lot of time to stare out of it.

Relationships

I’m seeing a lot of armpits in your life in 2018. As usual, ignore them. (I’m really talking about romance.) You have the good sense to stay in the place where you’re most needed, so don’t let anyone tempt you into areas you’re not comfortable in.

Health

On court, Goal Shooters have finely tuned minds with a laser-like focus on accuracy. Once the game is over they are likely to wander off without handing in their bib to be washed. Keep your brain nimble by eating good oils and also watch out for ankle injuries.

 

Blue Goal Attack netball bib bagGoal Attack

With the goal-post waxing in 2018, this will be a year where Goal Attacks’ versatility and skill can shine. Also, in June you will kill again.

Career

Some people have one job, but you have at least two and you’re great at both. You’re a go-getter but you’re also quite accurate. So, don’t hold back with your opinions in the workplace. If you see something you don’t agree with, in an area you’re not technically allowed in, stand as close as you can and shout advice.

Love

In 2018 try not to worry if a relationship doesn’t work out as you planned. Chances are, someone else was obstructing you and y ou’ll get another crack at it.

Health

You’re good at ignoring armpits thrust in your face but don’t forget to check your breasts if you have them.

 

Yellow Goal Keeper netball bib bagGoal Keeper

With the weakness in the opposition attack in 2018, this should be a quiet year for Goal Keepers.

Career

If you are working for a successful organisation, you may have little to do in 2018. Relish this and work on mindfulness. How many things can you smell that aren’t deep heat? Keep a list.

Love

We all know that the best way to attract a mate is to stick your armpit in their face. Keep using that tactic in 2018, it’s bound to work eventually.

Health

Sitting is the new smoking and we’re all supposed to stand more. This is good news for Goal Keepers who spend most of their time standing around. To make this activity even more beneficial, do some pelvic floor exercises.

 

Light blue Goal Defence netball bib bagGoal Defence

The goal circle is still a semi-circle in 2018, which means Goal Defenders can expect the relentless grind to continue this year.

Career

In 2017 you did twice as much work as your colleague for the same reward in oranges. It’s your own fault for being so damn competent. Nothing will change in 2018. Now jog back for the centre pass and get on with it.

Love

When it comes to love, you have to be in it to win it. You should stick your arms up at every opportunity, provided you’re the legally mandated distance away. Having said that, rebounds are your best chance in 2018, so watch out for other people’s failures and be ready to pounce on them.

Health

You spend so much time fixing other people’s mistakes that it’s hard to find time to look after yourself. On the bright side, at least you’re getting plenty of exercise.

 

Red Wing Attack netball bib bagWing Attack

With the sun hovering over the transverse line, Wing Attacks can expect a big year in 2018. Unless one of their team members doesn’t turn up, then you might have to play in goals, which will be a disaster as per usual.

Career

Wing Attacks – are you living up to your potential? Do I hear you say no? Actually, the answer is yes. The truth is, just like how you don’t play Centre, you’re where you are in your career for a reason. And that reason is limited talent. “Keep doing what you’re doing” said the man to the tree as if it needed his advice.

Love

Singles – showing people they need you is a wonderful way to make them love you. That’s why you bring the oranges, right? In the second half of the year you will try a similar tactic on a love interest by baking cakes.

Paired-up Wing Attacks can expect to continue to be the only one in the relationship who makes the cakes.

 

Blue Wing Defence netball bib bagWing Defence

2018 should be a bumper year for Wing Defenders provided they don’t have unrealistic expectations of receiving love, recognition or a fair share of the oranges.

Career

Just because you’re the first person to be offered a redundancy when your workplace restructures, doesn’t mean your role’s contribution isn’t considered as important as other people’s. Actually, that’s exactly what it means. But just because you will never receive any reward or recognition, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your hardest.

Love

When you see other people enjoying each other’s company, stand as close as you’re legally able and let them know that you’re there if they need you.  They don’t, but that is hardly the point.

Health

Watch out for ankle injuries.

 

Centre

Assuming you win the toss, 2018 starts with you; it’s just a shame it will also involve less competent people.

Career

You’ve usually got an iron in every fire and 2018 will be no exception – you’ll be all over the place, in a good way, of course. However, there’s still the pesky matter of the goal circles where other people will ruin or validate your good-work.  You can’t control everything. Let it go. By which I mean, scream instructions at your colleagues. Remember, you will be the one who fixes their mistakes…and then they will make more of them.

Love

“Centres should try seeing things from their partner’s perspective” says the person who knows nothing about power dynamics. As a wise Centre you know that you’re indispensable, so do what you want and have fun love-rat!

Health

Do you feel exhausted? Probably, but better than being lazy like everyone else, am I right? You’re at least a third healthier than anyone else you know so let smugness be your energy.

Money

I’m joking. This has no relevance to netball. In 2018 you will come into a lot of citrus fruit. Eat as much as you want, you deserve it.

 

Bags

Saturday November 25th, 2017 in Craft, Sport | No Comments »

I’ve started turning netball bibs into bags and selling them on Etsy.

Customer research suggests that the main factor limiting sales is that people don’t think they need a bag, believing it is better to move things using their hands alone. In fact, bags are a practical way to carry a wide range of items. Once you start carrying things in bags, the possibilities are endless. Here’s a list of just some of the ideas.

1. Shopping

Are you sick of carrying armfuls of produce back to your house, before returning to the supermarket to get more? Bags will save you heaps of trips back and forth.

2. Personal items

Keys, wallets, phones and neck pillows can all be carried in bags instead of pockets. In fact, bags are in many ways a detachable pocket.

3. Collections

I cannot walk down the street without finding an old leaf or stick that I just have to have. Instead of clutching these (which makes holding hands to cross the road difficult), try putting your gorgeous and essential collection in a bag.

4. A change of clothes

Spilled food, weather, rolling in dirt – all of these things happen. Carrying a change of clothes in a bag is a practical alternative to wearing three t-shirts.

5. Secrets

Many styles of bags are opaque, meaning that others can’t see what they contain. This allows you to discretely carry soiled underwear and treasure maps – no more stuffing them up your jumper and hoping no-one notices.

(Please note that these bags are not appropriate for transporting live animals, uranium or unrestrained water.)

Making and mending and being twee

Sunday January 9th, 2011 in Audio books, Cooking, Craft | No Comments »

I’ve just started listening to Things to Make and Mend by Ruth Thomas read by Finty Williams.

It’s a story about craft and friendship so I’m concerned that it might be twee. I have a highly developed (and perhaps somewhat arbitrary) twee-dar.

I first started dismissing people/films/art movements with this word after interviewing a potential housemate for a sharehouse. I had a vague sense of dislike for the girl, which became a pounding hatred when she said that she enjoyed riding her bike through a local park while drinking a coffee.

Riding a bike while drinking a coffee. Seemingly a lovely activity? NO. It is not lovely. Drinking a cup of coffee can be lovely. Riding your bike through a park can be lovely. Doing both of those activities at the same time is NOT LOVELY. Your lips would be burned while going over bumps trying to take a sip. You would spill coffee on your clothes. You may not be able to brake in time to avoid small children, Frisbees or dogs. It is a dangerous, silly activity.*

So either this girl was a liar or, my preferred theory, she did ride through the park drinking a coffee simply for effect.

So I vetoed this girl after the interview. Other housemates said, fine, but you need a reason. I said she was twee, they all agreed and we found somebody else.

Since then, I have always been on the lookout for people who do “lovely” things just to seem like someone who does lovely things. This is my personal definition of twee. Although, to be honest, I actually use the word twee to slag off anything nice that I don’t like.

Anyway, due to the title, Things to Make and Mend, I briefly toyed with the idea of making some muffins while listening to the story tape. But that would definitely be twee.

* Slightly worried that I might be wrong. Have not actually tried to drink coffee while riding a bike. If it is, in fact, a lovely activity, I am very sorry to potential housemate. I hope you found somewhere nice to live with a window box and gingham curtains.

To Melbourne!

Wednesday December 29th, 2010 in Audio books, Craft | No Comments »

I’m back in Melbourne unpacking the Christmas loot.

I didn’t receive a single audio book and that’s okay. Story tapes are expensive (unless you get them from a library chuck-out sale) and I usually only listen to them once.

I was EXTREMELY HAPPY to get these hand-crafted presents from my puff-paint whizz sister. She would start a market stall but is reluctant to invest in a tarpaulin.

Bra and Briefs update

Monday December 20th, 2010 in Craft | 1 Comment »

The bra and brief set decoration has been completed and sent to my sister in the UK. Her birthday is just before Christmas so we were keen for this gift to be special. And I think you’ll agree that it is.

Following my work with sequins and fabrics my sister in Sydney has added blue puff paint detailing.

What’s harder to see in this photo, is the utility pouch in the briefs. This is discrete but still large enough to hold handy items such as keys, lip gloss, or in this case, a condom.

Happy Birthday/Christmas indeed.

Please note that orders received now will not be delivered before 25 December.

Story tapes

Sunday December 5th, 2010 in Audio books, Craft | No Comments »

I have listened to audio books since I was in Grade Four. In these olden days we called them story tapes, and sometimes I still do.

Story tapes aren’t a replacement for reading, I listen to them when I’m doing other things. Like cooking, or folding the washing. Mary Poppins was on the money: in every job there is to be done there is an element of fun, and for me that fun is often story tapes. Nothing fires me up for a domestic task like knowing I have an entertaining tape to listen to while I work.

At the moment I am listening to Alexander McCall Smith’s Love over Scotland read by Hilary Neville. It’s the third book in the 44 Scotland Street series. First published as a serial in the Scotsman, the books are episodic by nature and therefore designed to be dipped in and out of, which I think makes them ideal audio book material.

Yesterday I dipped in for a substantially longer period than usual while I worked on a craft project. I am not craftily talented but I enjoy the odd dabble. My sister and I are making a Christmas present for our other sister who is overseas.

As you can see I have done fabrics, nipple adornments and a snazzle crotch. I will now post this to my sister in Sydney who will complete the puff paint work.

I probably spent two hours on this yesterday. I would have been very bored were it not for Love over Scotland, which kept me glued to my craft-gluing seat with its delightful stories of everyday dramatic tensions and thoughtful ruminations on human behaviour and psychology. I also think the Edinburgh setting may have pushed me towards a tartan theme.